To be told so many times these past 4 days that I’ve been an inspiration to them has been amazing!! To hear many people say that attended our PurpleStride just to see me, I’m just at a lost for words!!! In awe!!
I was asked by people attending advocacy day today if I was an actress here to be a face to help… hahaha! How cute it that?! I’ll chat all about the day tomorrow! 
XoXo ~Ashley
Training = complete!
It was a busy day of meetings and talking to so many here! I did struggle SO much this afternoon to stay awake because I couldn’t get to sleep for the life of me last night. I had so many things on my mind and kept getting up to do things, I even fumbled here on my blog and wrote incorrect words and made concerns from many people like I was complaining. Ahh!! Just not with it! haha. When I was hospitalized all last week my stomach was swollen out majorly and it still continues to be. This has created a LOT of pain and I’m also very worried!! I’m not sure whats going on and am waiting for answers at the same time I’m going through advocacy days on capitol hill.
I will update this tomorrow!! It’s 1am and I should probably get rest.
XoXo ~Ashley
Love!
Alexis to the left of me and her friend
Me about to speak on stage
Julie and I
Yes I was just hospitalized this week and released Friday for a severe blockage and did the whole 5K on Saturday… would you expect anything less??? haha!!
Funny thing to add quick…. Tim said pancan had dubbed us the “Barbie and Ken” of pancreatic cancer which SUCKS that it’s PC but the whole barbie and ken thing I found funny! haha
Another successful PurpleStride done here in Washington, DC and of coarse like I said it’d be BIG and sure enough we all raised over $715,000 and had either over 5,000 or 4,500… I can’t recall. I was a speaker as you know but my speech was cut short because of time for whatever reason because there was all the time in the world in my mind (and to everyone who reached out to me and agreed! haha!). It was super sad! I know, and many people I talk to or the hundreds who have contacted me, always want to hear a speaker that they can relate to and in every event we’ve been to, we haven’t. We’ve wanted to here from someone who was Stage 4 (I’ll get back you on the number). Not just Stage 4 but stage 4 metastasized everywhere, like myself, and really hear hope. I know when I was first diagnosed and told I had a short time and was very sick it would have made me feel a ton better if I had heard someone in my same shoes that broke through and is doing better and has came a long way. I’m over 1 1/2 years and this fall will be 2 years. I still pray to be operable one day! Oh, that always bothers me when “informed” people ask if I had the whipple or any other surgeries when they are aware the cancer metastasized everywhere and surgery was never an option and in my doctors opinion will never be. I guess from now on when they tell me how much they know about pancreatic cancer and know my situation and then ask the question, I will run down the information from what a stage means to what it means to be operable.
So Friday I know I didn’t write much but I was beat and in so much pain that night. I had broke out of the hospital and had errands to run. Oh! One was going to my hospital that I am always at (until I switched it up this time.. haha ) to pick up flowers amongst getting records sent. My beautiful amazing Christy mom had already brought flowers assuming I was there and then finding out I wasn’t and calling every hospital around and never found me. I felt so bad for her!!! Then when I was well enough, when I wrote y’all on here, and checked my messages I had found this out and let her know but I figured no biggie.. I’ll get em when I break out. I went there and first the receptionist played like a dummy not knowing about any flowers …then! when I gave the name Christy told me, she said that was her and all her memory came back and she said since they couldn’t get ahold of me she took the flowers home for herself. How rude! haha to me, that’s just crazy because I’d never take anything that didn’t belong to me and she was not so kind!
Later after some of those errands, I picked up my mom at Reagan airport. PANCAN flies out selected people that want to go to Advocacy day and puts them up in a really nice hotel so many people flew in early to go to our purplestride. Let’s be real… they just wanted to learn from the pros, hahaha! She was able to fly through PANCAN because selected people are picked from every state and flown out and put up in a hotel. I know many people have expressed that they didn’t think it was “fair” but sorry.. I’m not your girl on that one, you’d have to go to pancan. I just am focused on having more than this one event a year here in the DC area as I have been for the last almost 2 years. I would love do put more things together but there are so many other pancreatic cancer charity groups out there as well that I love to help.
Anyways.
So …..my husband has been SUPER cranky all weekend and NOT himself whatsoever. I don’t know whats up with him but he’s at a clients house because I guess they didn’t want to open the kitchen cabinet boxes themselves and look to see if their damaged or not… in the past 3 months mind you. So, he has to do it for them. Strange but! I’m happy because now I have the house all to myself!! Yay! I get to catch a quick nap before Tim gets home between 9-10 tonight because I’m exhausted!!!
I hope everyone had a great weekend and tomorrow is Advocacy Day for pancreatic cancer!!!
XoXo ~Ashley
So I’m not feeling my best of coarse since I was just released from the hospital but I am finally able to lay down now and hopefully get sleep! The alarm will be going off in 5 hours which stinks because I could really go for about 10. Ah! Oh well! I actually really hurt tonight and even took another pill because I’m not due for 2 hours and it doesn’t seem to be working! Stinks.
I will update this in the morning though. I am sad that my “Ashleys Angels” shirts that arrived incorrectly a couple weeks ago never got finished because of things that went wrong last week and my hospital stay this week. Grr!! I guess that just means I’ll have to make up for it NEXT YEAR!!! There will be a next year my friends!!!
I will video blog at the event so I can share the experience with everyone unable to attend. So far we (as in anyone contributing to this event) have raised over $650,000!!!!! More money will come in tomorrow!! Wow! I’m sure PANCAN is thrilled.
Ok friends, I’ll catch up on this tomorrow. I will be getting there super early because I am speaking and it’s the best time to be out and about in DC… a weekend early early morning you just cannot beat!
XoXo ~Ashley
I can stand up again!!
^I can stand up again!!! Baby steps… trying to walk today!!
I barely got any sleep once again from all the pain and had very intense extreme pain this morning when I tried to get up from my chair (no I haven’t been able to lay down).
Then… Somehow this morning after taking my personal narcotic of choice, the pain actually subsided!!! I’ve been leary of how long it’d last but so far so good.
No it’s not the med that all of a sudden did the trick but as I’ve learned, the blockages when partial (the cause of my pain) do tend to go away on their own. So my small intestine got it together finally and the narcotic was taken for the cramps and pains I have for that as well as what happens when you take a ton of drugs and eat a little.
Not fun.
Here I am….
Actually I did the follow up video after this one explaining I was in the hospital so interruptions are common as well as other things I had to say but it will not let me upload it. Bummer!! Sorry!
I’ll try to work on this in a bit…. ”To Be Continued” ;)
It’s been AT LEAST over 7 hours and I’ve been in unbelievable…SEVERE… Excruciating… Insane PAIN
I can’t believe they call this an America’s “top hospital” and I have pain that came out of nowhere after Tim’s video blog and is so severe that every move I make is critical for over 7 HOURS and they can’t figure out pain control???? Really?!??!!
I’m sitting here in one spot and I’m ok but the second I twist, turn, twitch or stand I’ll have this uncontrollable pain that makes my heart race and I have to find a spot that I can tolerate.
I had nothing but good things to say in the beginning but once shift changed and the rudest people came in, it’s not been pretty. Did I mention I haven’t even seen a doctor this entire time!?? Only a resident doc and they’ve been “trying to” get ahold of an oncology doctor but that hasn’t worked. Really?!?
I’d be happier if someone knew how to treat pain. It just puzzles my mind that I’m SO tired from the sickness I’ve been in for a couple days now and yet I can’t even attempt to lay down and close my eyes.
Wait …did I say that the resident gal who I’ve dealt with even suggested I was ok to go home because they didn’t find anything significant on the CT scan??? What?!?! I come in and let you know I haven’t kept food or water down for now 2 days and you say I’m good to go also in the meantime I’ve had this extreme abdomen pain outbreak??? Wow!
Ah!! 
it’s after 3am and supposedly my room is ready but I’m sure it’ll take another several hours to get in.
Hope everyone is doing well.
Thank you sooooo much for all the sweet comments left!!! It really helps in a time like this and I’m so very thankful for everyone of them!! Of coarse I cried when reading them and with this pain, I really don’t have anymore tears to cry and my eyes are more swollen than ever! Haha
XoXo
When the Executive Producer of Good Morning Washington calls you for an interview of your hopeful story of fighting pancreatic cancer, you get excited!! I watch Good Morning Washington every morning before Good Morning America every morning. I was excited Sunday to show the local people that they too can be like me.
Then all went down on Sunday, Monday was worse and I’ve awoken today (Tuesday) to Tim waking me up saying that GMW was ready to interview me after I told HIM to cancel last night as I was SO SO SO SICK. I felt bad but then again I wanted a bullet to my head so I didn’t care. I feel like death as I cannot even hold water down. Tim made me check my weight to see how much bile I’ve puked up and 10 lbs down in 24hrs… yup, pounds and pounds of bile! I’m even bleeding. I haven’t had a period since the end of last year so why am I bleeding? My body has taken a major turn for the worse and Tim is complaining is was that heavy lifting I did the other day. He says thats too much for a normal small girl of my size with everything that it takes to contract muscles so let alone my body that is going through so much. My heart is beating harder because it wants water and I have no energy to even walk or talk. I just want pain pills and a bed.
Heading to the hospital now….
Pray I make it out alive….
My Monday post…..
coming a little late….
I’m trying to muster up the energy to share with you all whats been going on since I have tons of amazing followers and its unfair to disappear if I have any energy at all to share. I was going 100mph at 110% last week and even helping lift these 80+ pound boxes for myself and someone else feeling like superwoman and was so busy I couldn’t keep up on here. Sunday we were out before taking our dogs to the Nationals game and then shopping until 10pm and I had spouts of exhausted-ness. I figured I needed a lot of sleep and came home but actually got really sick. I figured I would get sick and be ok. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up an hour later and called maddy then jumped in the shower and called her back to talk about my morning Channel 7 interview.
It was one hell of a night. My legs were SO SOAR and kept me awake just as my sickness. I would get up with pain and feel and it’d be like a faucet turned on high with all the bile coming out of me. I was praying it was some 24 hour bug.
I told Channel 7 news I had to cancel because I wasn’t feeling good but wanted to just delay. I was sick and tired the entire day. Complete MISERY.
Now I’ll sleep until Tuesday…
Sorry I’ve been a little MIA… only a tad, I’ve even missed cancer support group and art therapy this week sad.
I’ll catch up tomorrow! ♥
