So it’s CHEMO MONDAY!! OH BOY!!!!! Ok, let’s do caps and some exclamation points and hopefully you can feel my exaggerated excitement!
I had a great weekend!! Did the last of the Christmas stuff with a light tour and events I had tickets to. I like to pamper myself the weekend before chemo…. just because… so I did.
I’ve been dreading this day. I try not to think about it but once it’s the weekend before I can’t help but think of it. Even after this long it doesn’t get any easier, in fact I think I dread it more. I just hate sitting for a ton of hours. I get so big and you can even see it in my face when I take pics the day of chemo I just get all puffy and then start feeling gross. I really dislike my premeds that make me pass out. It’s crazy how instant it is. Once the bag starts it hits me like a ton of bricks and I can’t even keep my eyes open no matter how hard I try. I know in my earlier chemo days I thought this was cool because I could waste the time away by sleep as opposed to staying up and trying to keep myself entertained. I find it too noisy to read a book. In any case, I just don’t like it but my CA19 results made everything a bit easier today. I had my last CA19-9 (pancreatic cancer blood test) done the last Monday of November and never did find out the results because I had a bad feeling about it and had upcoming events that I didn’t need the extra stress and anxiety from the news. I found out the news today…
What girl with pancreatic cancer that metastasized everywhere has a CA19 number of 21?????
That’s right.. this one!!! TWENTY-ONE! I was thrilled because I have never had my number this low!!! A normal healthy cancer-free person can have a reading of anywhere between 0-35 and that is normal. My body thinks it’s normal again!! I always say my body is confused because it functions the same as before… a normal healthy 27 year old girl. I do have chronic pain on my left side that I am pretty used to and is controlled by pain meds and the mass in my tummy that makes it stick out otherwise, I would never remember I was sick until chemo. Things have changed so much from last year and fall 2011… all for the better. 2013 is going just how I had planned so far!
It’s about 6pm… means I’ve been here about 11 hours… ready to go home already!! Not sure how much longer I have here but it shouldn’t be too much, maybe an hour or 2. I have started the year with pure positive energy, still remaining positive as I have, having confidence in myself and in my doctors and treatment. It’s working. Prayers are working from you all. It’s a working combination clearly, the proof of the pudding is in the eating.
Ahh… good 2013 Monday. This comes after my “Do I haaaaaaave to go to chemo?!?” I DREAD chemo! Have I mentioned that before? Maybe you forgot. I dread chemo! I have a birthday that isn’t too far away and I get to celebrate it here!!! YaY me!! I spent my birthday here last year so I really wanted to keep the new tradition…… not. But the party will be in infusion woohoo! Ok, about time I get to doing…something. Words with friends I suppose. I’m not sure why people play me in that game, at least they are all good sports and not poor losers right? hahaha….
xoxo ~Ash ♥ ♥
PS: I read on twitter that Aquarius people are VERY sarcastic.. haha! I don’t know astrology, I like reading mine though, it’s fun