I got up this morning wondering if I should just cancel the days plans and get some rest because my health takes priority or if I should just get the Clear Eyes out and go ahead with the day and crash tonight. I chose the latter.  Crazy that yesterday I bought a new bottle of Clear Eyes redness reliever too because it happens sometime.  I wonder if that was planned?  I was up ALL NIGHT last night which was insane.  I had pain and took painkillers which sure Oxy wakes me up but Dilaudid normally puts me out and nothing.  I took an Ambien and still nothing.  I mean I did fall asleep for a few and kept having these mini nightmares over and over again and it’d wake me up.  It was about being killed in DC not the cancer.  I follow the crime in the streets and there are just armed robberies every other minute and I kept dreaming it happened to me as well as other crazy crimes. I had all electronics, tv and everything turned off but I still couldn’t sleep.  I finally looked at my phone and it was 5:00am and I thought should I just get up now or really struggle to sleep and possibly fall asleep only to be awoken at 7am for my alarm.  Sure enough I fell asleep for a whole hour and wanted to throw my phone at 7!  haha.  I decided to just get up, shower and get a move on because I had things to get done.

I got going and had to meet a friend, Mike,  in Annapolis at 11 but arrived at 10 so to the mall it was.  I was so tired that I really wasn’t even into shopping or wanting to buy a thing.  I did score a super cute skirt, shirt for Tim and a Miami shirt (8 days!! ) for myself all for $30!! I’ll take pics tomorrow!   Mike and I met for art therapy at a wellness house for cancer patients and the people were great!  I was SO embarrassed though because I was so uber tired from the last few nights of no sleep and my skin is dry and I feel it really shows in my skin.  You can tell if I am sleeping and eating well by looking at me and this week has been embarrassing in terms of sleep and taking care of myself.  Art therapy was good although I thought I was going to learn how to paint as opposed to a free for all.  Mike is basically an artist and I am at a Kindergarden level.  We were supposed to paint a portrait of this vase with flowers sitting on the table as a “Valentine’s” theme but I kinda did my own thing as we all did.  I tried to paint a classy V-day card with hearts and flowers and it quickly turned into a childs work and I folded.  I continued painting but made it for my little Ryan and Paige (nephew and niece almost 4yrs old and 2) whom would love it. haha! I also made one for Jamie because we had a FaceTime date tonight – miss you and love you Jamie!!

I would recommend cancer patients do these type of things.  It’s not just about reading on cancer and dwelling or even researching alternatives day and night.  I stress diet and exercise but I also stress living.  I may have more energy than many and do a lot more even with whats going on in me but for anyone it is just doing little thing like painting or even drawing are all very therapeutic.  I know people who crochet, write, bike and I am a scrapbooker. I am also into photography and could probably be a professional (seriously! ha  ) and am going to focus on my years of photography I have that have been on the back burner all these years.   I was told they have music therapy.  I didn’t know if this would be full of instruments and a free for all or what? haha!  I’m very interested in doing more of this and slowing down and focusing more on my health. I am just a little busy now and have many out of state trips planned out between now and May. Ah!

I had business things to do after the art class and when I got home early evening I recall coming in and playing with my dogs for a few, sat down and my body shut off.  I was out cold for a good couple hours. I woke up and felt a little better… kinda like when your cell phone dies and you charge it enough that it turns on and has a little charge but you don’t have time for it to be plugged in because you need it now.  That was me.  I didn’t want to cook dinner for my husband and I’m not hungry but I felt if he can work all day doing manual labor then I can get in the kitchen.  I whipped up a nice chicken fettucini alfredo with steamed broccoli!  Now I can call it a night! Whew.

The pics above are my kiddish work that’ll be going to kids and then Mike’s Picasso.  Way to keep it classy Ash.. haha  Goodnight!

PS – Today was National Pancake Day!!  I was all excited to go to Ihop to get my blueberry pancake fix but it didn’t happen.  Oh well! I have my own gluten-free mix here at home I can make with my fresh organic blueberries.  I prefer to do my own cooking anyhow so I know where it came from.

xoxo ~Ashley