Age 26 – Diagnosed with Stage 4 Metastatic Pancreatic Cancer, I am inoperable/incurable and when Tim asked “How long does she have?” Doctors answer: “Well… it’s bad… a month? maybe 2? “
Age 27 – Celebrated my birthday, sure I was in the hospital celebrating with my nurses but I was alive. I believed it was my last birthday so did the doctors.
TODAY – Age 28 – Celebrating ANOTHER birthday with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer… YES! Cheers to “more birthdays”
Well I am getting chemotherapy on my birthday today. Many people have said, why couldn’t you switch the days? Well I’m sure I could but I like to get it over with on a Monday. I’ve always had Monday chemos and I was in the hospital celebrating my birthday with pancreatic cancer last year so whatever. Gosh! SO hard to think last year I was so very thankful to just celebrate my birthday as sick as I was but just knowing I was another year older, I could say I lived at least to 27 years old before the pancreatic cancer took me. I did NOT see myself living to see 28. The doctors, my husband, family & friends… I know nobody believed I would. HE had another plan and knew I would when we didn’t. I remember being in the church in my hospital this day last year as I was every day in the hospital and just asking for another birthday. I wanted some kind of sign and I did feel it. I didn’t believe it then but I do now. So many say “you don’t know how powerful your mind is” well… I do. I do know and I am a preacher of the mindset. I do believe in complete education and accepting the terrible hand dealt and playing the cards smart. I don’t know why someone wouldn’t believe me when you see me. I am fine.
This week if you saw me you may say I’m not the best but it’s because I’m getting poisoned today and will not feel great for a couple of days obviously but check me out by the weekend. I’m fine, I have no limitations. If I eat wrong and by eating wrong I say eating something that is harder to digest, even if I took enzymes, it will hurt my left side. If I overdo it physically, it will hurt my left side. If I am a smart girl and eat what I should be and being careful not to overwork my body and irritate it then I am fine. If I get enough rest at night then I am all set. I don’t need to be a brain surgeon to figure these things out. It’s all common sense if you listen to your body and figure out what triggers you to feel a certain way. I can’t wait to see my new PET/CT scan results when I get it done because if I go by how I feel then it may show improvement. I don’t know. I didn’t have any pain on the left side prior to November no matter what I did or ate so maybe there is something going on there but I am still on the same chemo treatment for a year now and have more options if need be. I will only get better I feel from now on because the weather will start changing around soon and getting nicer out and who doesn’t just like nice sunny weather? I will be outside more and getting more vitamin D, longer sunny walks and just improvement overall I feel compared to the dreary cold winter. The summer really helps for patients on cold sensitivity chemo drugs.
Gosh, I had a very very sleepy chemo day today. I normally only fall a sleep for a bit when the nasty Benedryl hits and today I was exhausted prior. I know of coarse it’s because of my lack of sleep since Florida and running on empty but wow! I can never get much shut eye here. Feels good!!!
My nurses caught me waking up and came and all sang “Happy Birthday” and that is where the pic above was taken… you can see it in my eyes how tired I am.. hahaha! They rock!!!
I hope everyone had a beautiful February, 18th!!! It was nice and quiet driving on the roads to my hops since it’s a holiday and one really celebrated here with Presidents compared to anywhere else I lived. Tomorrow is back to reality for most.