This is been a very difficult difficult time in my life friday I had to say good by and cremate my love Ashley. She was and will away be the love of my life and she is gone now. I never dreamed I would be looking for urns to put my wife’s remains in at such a young age in my life. No one in life is ever ready to die but at least at an older age you are more prepared or at least have something’s decided. We never even talked about the possibility of it because we though we could be the exception to this disease. We fought harder and pushed the doctors farther than they thought was even possible. We showed them that the will to live is stronger than there medicines. Ashley not only had pancreatic cancer mass she had a very rare cervical cancer of the gland that has spread from the cervix to the other locations. She had cancer not only on her pancreas tail but in her pelvis, cervix, overies, peritoneal omentum, bowel, abdominal cavity, small intestine and colon and most likly liver. My wife would be upset with me but I feel I must tell everyone this because this is a testament to how strong she really was. This type of adenocarcinoma is so rare the surgeon only had see two others cases like it in his career. How it spread from the cervical area to other locations without detection is beyond him. But my guess is her body kept fighting it off trying to stop the cancer from spreading. Unfortunately it keep spreading quietly and was undetected by her white blood cells or they were just Overwhelmed by the amount. This is why she had such a wide spread of cancer and her little body was riddled with it I think. She will ALWAYS be part of the PC family because there is no way that we could tell 100% that her ppancreatic cancer was not a separate primary location. This is mainly because were unable to resect the large pancreatic mass on her pancreas and compare that to the cells resected. The girls at the infusion center when I went there the other day told me they could not believe how much cancer she had. She was still functioning and looked so good all of the time they said. Don’t take this the wrong way I told them but my wife looks better dead than most people do alive and that’s the truth we lived life the best we could. I told them this is why I struggled with cremation I wanted people to see here so beautiful looking as always. But the thought of putting her under ground and letting her slowly decay is not the way she would want it. There is no good answer here but at least there is no pain any more.