Will not stop

Again my loving wife’s memorial is going to be on Saturday, November 16th at Christ Episcopal Church at 120 Goodhue St. Owosso,Mi. At 11am all who knew or were touched by Ashley are welcome. I will not let the greed or selfishness of other stop or discourage me. They will be judged in the end and I will continue the fight for my wife. Her name will not be forgotten and if Della wants to profit from my wife’s death and not help with Medical bills or cost from everything thats fine. I told her she could be the first donor to Ashley’s foundation to help people that have cancer or create classes or whatever I see fit to help. But again that would be the right thing to do so I figured she would say no. Ashley and me were on own since she moved out of her house at young age of 18 years old. Then we moved out of state when she was 22 or so. Surprisingly considering her mother she turned into a great young woman who I loved dearly. So after my wife has passed, all the pieces have all been coming together for me. Ashley keep something bottled up and when I would ask about it or try to help she would just get angry. She had not met her biological dad till the age of 13 due to her mother. Her mother Della just didn’t tell him. She has lied about it for the last 20 some years and said he took off and wanted nothing to do with Ashley. But Della knew were he worked just didn’t tell him not sure the reason yet. I think Ashley found this out and was very hurt by her mother when she caught her in a lie not sure. Her biological dad found out 13 years later when the state came after him for back child support for a child he know nothing about very very sad. So at that point Ashley was forced to meet a man her mother said was So-called evil and she hated. And for a teen to want to go with a stranger instead of hanging out with friends is crazy not to mention when the parents don’t get alone. Ashley couldn’t even act like she had a good time at her dads because her mother would get mad. This hurts me deeply because who knows what could have been for the two of them if Della would have not put up so many road blocks. Ashley would have had two great dads. You see Ashley had a lot of cancer on her biological dad side and this is why I am telling you all this. Since she didn’t get to know him very well she knew nothing about all the cancer. This info alone could have made a difference. Maybe the doctors would have ran extensive prescreening test who knows what else. Ashley’s grandmother, and her grandmothers 4 sisters died of cancer. Even some of there children have had cancer and one died of breast cancer before 30 from what I understand and have gathered and they all were female. I’m not saying it would have saved her but who knows what if I have always said info. is the most important thing you can have and this is a lot. Even the first night she was at the ER they asked us if cancer ran in the family we said no. This just slowed the process down and she was almost sent home for acid reflex/ stomach ulcer. This need to be a parents Responsibility to inquire and get this information for the children when they are young. This is what I’ll concentrate on first with Ashley’s foundation preventative maintenance and prescreening and trying to set up classes on cancer and family history and what we can learn from it. We need to teach this in our children’s health classes and make it mandatory for parents to give ALL complete family history to doctors. This is the future to finding a so called cure or slowing cancer down (early detection) very important. So please if you don’t know your family history try to find out. Be the best parent you can for your kids and do what’s right. It’s to late for Ashley but not to late for your children. You all know about the family drama and I have been consumed with anger for her mother and very confused how someone could do this. I have thought long and hard about everything and I feel sorry for Della’s family. I am the closest thing to Ashley they have left and money can’t buy all the pics and videos I have. Della and Ashley’s older brother said I am no longer apart of the family and that’s ok I will keep her name alive. At first I told Della not to come to Ashley memorial but I have morals. So with that being said I will tell her that if she thinks Ashley would want her there she is welcome. She already made her bed and will get her judgment we all know that. “All things work out in the end” this is what me and Ashley always said. I just feel sorry she never had the honor of really getting to know her child she was truly an inspiration to many. I was very blessed to have had her in my life as long as I did. I will continue to help her brother Dylan and sister Brooke in any way I can, this I know Ashley would want since she was like a mother to both.

10 comments on “Will not stop

  1. Raye says:

    thanks Tim for sharing, your courage, and yours and Ashley’s pain. by doing this you may have saved a family. keep your faith and love going. Ashley’s cancer was one of the deadliest, and others suffering from it and those of us left behind need to keep the fire burning, and resolve going.nxoxo

  2. Gloria McKenzie says:

    Tim, you are such a good person. No wonder Ashley loved you so very much. She would be so proud of you.

  3. gray says:

    Have thought of how you were doing often. God bless you for the things you are doing! Family history does matter! We found out our first maternal cousin (even though medically not considered a 1st degree relative, i say it counts) had pan can as well as my brother, both Diagnosed in their early 40s. And we never knew much about our mothers side either….but not same scenario as you are dealing with. Research states that if dx before age 50 that chances are it is genetic. Keep up the great work Tim. Ashley will not be forgotten! Nor my brother. They still live on!

  4. Maura says:

    Tim, Unfortunately, you and Ashley learned at an early age that humans can bear children, but that doesn’t necessarily qualify them to be parents. So sad for you that, on top of your grief, you have to deal with the pain of a mother who sounds as if she may be mentally unstable. Just try to bear through it and stay strong, as Ashely would have wanted.

  5. Emily Keller says:

    Tim, thanks for keeping us posted. Xoxo Emily

    Sent from my iPad

    >

  6. george says:

    Tim,
    Thanks for keeping us posted on your mission. It is unfortunate that you didn’t have the information that might have been helpful earlier. We also are investigating what pre-screening might be available for our children, so far we have been told start at 10 yrs younger than my wife’s diagnoses.

  7. Kary Parker says:

    Hey……
    Will be thinking of you and your family and friends as you gather to honor and celebrate the life of your Ashley. I hope you are able to surround yourself with good memories of your life together, and that you and your family/friends can comfort each other as you celebrate Ashley’s life and honor her battle for that life!
    Take care………..Kary

  8. elaine mclaughlin says:

    I’m glad that when you’re frustrated,you feel you can still share with others on the internet. We were worried,especially when you seemed so resolved.When my father died, my mom said she wanted to climb in the casket with my dad, more than anything. We didn’t want you to do that. You have more good to do in this life.
    I’m sorry that Ashley didn’t have some advantages,but her spirit of goodness was not crushed. I know it is a temptation,when you can’t prevent death,to target SOMEONE for all your suffering,but it’s kind of a waste of energy,when good could be done. It seems to me that attacking Ashley’s parents at this point would do more to blacken YOUR spirits,than it would to correct the past.I think it would disappoint and weaken you more.Just because people are SUPPOSED to be there for you, doesn’t mean you should lean on them,when it’s obvious they are not even strong enough to support themselves.Go where you know you can get support. You need it,now.You need to be around positivity.Do even little things, in which you can have success. Do a puzzle. See a movie.Bowl. Something that has a positive ending.
    I’m glad you’re having another memorial soon. I think these events are more productive than funerals.Remember your joy.

  9. Christy Ward says:

    Hey Tim!!! I have heard such wonderful things about the service yesterday…I wanted to be there so so badly, as you know, and I hope you will write about it when you can! I especially hope to see the videos and pictures, I know they must’ve been very very special. I looked up the songs she left for you… so heartfelt and touching. I am getting great feedback already from our new fundraiser. I’ll share with you some of the messages I’ve been getting, it is SO sweet to be able to talk and share… Its too late to send a text, so I’m just reminding you here that I’m thinking of her too!!! Much love to you guys!!

  10. Norbert Ruiz says:

    Hi Tim, I emailed your wife a few times to discuss our pancreatic cancer. I too have stage four pancreatic cancer. She really gave me hop, and a desire to right back. W I just imagined what the the world would have bee like without Ashley for a few years. We would not have known intelligence, personality, i just goes on. The world is much better place too be for. The few short years she was here.

    Take care Bert

    Sent from my iPad

    >

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