I hold on

So you all know me and Ashley had been together Since September of 2002. At the time I met her my truck (that I still have) was only about 2 months old to me. Me and my Friends were at a tractor pull ( yes country boys) one night and decided to go get something to eat in a Neighboring community. That’s when all my friends were like pull over look at those girls I said no I’m Hungry. Haha So we proceeded to get food then I drove over so my friends could talk to the girls while I ate my food. LoL I was really not interested in talking to a girl that night. But after I finished my food I started talking to Ashley and it was like love at first site we just hit it off from there. Never dreamed almost 12 years later I would have still been with her and she would have passed of cancer at only 28 years of age. Surprisingly I still have the same truck that I met her in but I can’t believe it’s still here and she’s gone. It’s just a Old pick up truck but it’s more than that now. This truck has got us through a lot of hard times moved us numerous times bailed her out when her car broke down never let us down it’s been a great truck. We spent hours upon hours in this truck when I first started dating her. Every Ding and dent has a story to it and I still have a curling iron burn on my dash from her LOL. That she’d still would deny that she did to this day. I work on all my own stuff and have kept this truck going and now it is very Sentimental to me and I will hold on. I have been tearing it down and repairing a lot of rust spots and fixing numerous things that needed to be done. I just wish I could have put a new part on my wife to give her more time. This is Frustrating sense I can fix just about anything just not her :(
Bear with me I’m trying to figure out how to post pictures on here not very computer savvy.


Sent from my iPhone


7 comments on “I hold on

  1. Mini says:

    Hi Tim

    It’s amazing how many little things become precious when someone we loves leaves us. I love your memories and your stories because , like you, I am holding onto my brother’s, and this keeps him with me now that he’s no longer with me. Like Ashley he couldn’t win the war but like Ashley he never gave up. I guess in the midst of our own loss and pain we have to learn to be strong from them and find a different way to live. Sometimes this is much easier said than done.
    Your songs ring so true to the emotions so many of us feel.
    Keep taking that one step at a time Tim and one day will become another, and hopefully there will be some moments of happiness.
    For anyone who has lost to this disease, or any other diseases, the only thing you can accept is that the one we love is gone. It’s hard to accept why them and there is a purpose (as I keep getting told) and that is when we have to did deep within ourselves and not become bitter.
    Still thinking of you both and sharing your pain.
    Keep in touch when you can and if you can. Ashley meant a lot to a lot of people and you do to.

  2. BobbyJo says:

    Hi Tim: I love your story about the truck, and that you are repairing it so lovingly…Your writing about this is important to you, and to a whole lot of us who are struggling to make sense of this disease. You are a beautiful, caring soul and so was Ashley. That will never change. And you both have affected so many people in a positive way. I hope you know that. And I bet the truck will run beautifully for a long long time. Big hugs to you.

  3. jrcruse says:

    Dear Tim!!! I’m crying because that’s about the most beautiful thing I’ve read! I can feel your love for Ashley…it’s so tangible!!! Your words are from the heart and they have so much life like Ashley’s did!!! It’s so generous of you to share your feelings, experiences, your relationship…your love! I truly wish I could have been at Ashley’s memorial in MI!! I had a commitment that could not be broken and would not allow me to be there. I would have and I was thinking if you!! I’m glad Ashley’s sister was there!! She is a strong girl!! You may not have been able to fix Asley’s body, but you sure made her heart perfect!!! Not everyone on this a Earth gets that privilege!!! You did awesome! You are a beautiful soul!!

  4. Colleen says:

    Tim, Thanks for sharing such beautiful words and memories of Ashley. I read your words to Joe and he was deeply touched by your words too. We will always think of you and Ashley fondly. So sorry that this is the journey that you experienced. I have no words that will explain why this happened to you two. I have no words that will comfort you in your grief. But please know that Joe and I will continue to pray that God gives you the continued grace and fortitude to forge on, without your beloved wife, best friend, and mate- Ashley. Take time to grieve. Writing down your feelings is a wonderful way to vent your emotions. Thank you for continuing to share your thoughts, feeling, and memories. We are honored to know you and grateful that you shared Ashley. Love and prayers, Colleen

  5. Gloria McKenzie says:

    Such a beautiful love story of you & Ashley and the truck.

  6. Linda Gary says:

    Tim, thank you so much for continuing to share your experiences and memories with us. I think of you and of Ashley so often and still have a very hard time believing her beautiful smile is no longer here with us. Although I have never met either of you, I feel that I know you both. She made such a difference in so many lives – such a beautiful inspiration – and now you are carrying that on for her. How lucky she was to have you by her side to support her all the way! For those of us who follow the blog, both you and Ashley are very important to us – I hope we are able to give you back some comfort and love to help you with all you’re going through.

  7. Rachael Greenman says:

    Wow it’s crazy to see that truck again. I am so glad we stopped that night, because we almost didn’t either. I am so happy Ash met you and had you throughout this whole experience. I just went home over Christmas and we drove by that parking lot and I couldn’t help but think of her. I still can’t believe she is gone. She was such vibrant caring person that it’s hard to picture her not here. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

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